Don't Mess with
Men
How many men does
it take to open a beer?
None. It should
be opened when she brings it.
Why is a
Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman
who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to
support you.
Why do women have
smaller feet than men?
It's one of those
"evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen
sink.
How do you know
when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a
sentence with "A man once told me.�
How do you fix a
woman's watch?
You don't. There
is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart
more than women?
Because women
can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is
barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who
do you let in first?
The dog, of
course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
I married a Miss
Right.
I just didn't
know her first name was Always.
Scientists have
discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a
Wedding Cake.
Why do men die
before their wives?
Because they
want to.
Women will never
be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and
a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning,
God created the Earth and rested.
Then God created
Man and rested.
Then God created
Woman.
Since then,
neither God nor Man has rested.
|